Mrs. Lovett:
Th at's all very well, but what are we going
To do about him?
Todd:
Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to
Some secret place and bury him.
Mrs. Lovett:
Oh yeah, of course we could do that. I don't
Suppose he's got any relatives going to come
Poking around looking for him.
Seems a downright shame…
Todd:
Shame?
Mrs. Lovett:
Seems an awful waste…
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has…
Had…
Has…
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift,
Debts to be erased,
Th ink of it as thrift,
As a gift …
If you get my drift …
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it—
Todd:
Ah!
Mrs. Lovett:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussy cats and toast.
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare,
As far as taste—
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Todd: Mrs. Lovett:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet Well, it does seem a
Appropriate, as always. Waste…
Mrs. Lovett
How I did without you
All these years I'll never know! Th ink about it.
How delectable! Lots of other gentlemen'll
Also undetectable. Soon be coming for a shave,
Won't they? Th ink of
How choice! All them
How rare! Pies!
Todd:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
Mrs. Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?
Todd:
Th ose crunching noises pervading the air?
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, all around—
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Todd: Mrs.Lovett
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we Th en who are we
To deny it in here? To deny it in here?
Todd:
Th ese are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett,
And desperate measures are called for.
Mrs. Lovett:
Here we are, hot out of the oven.
Todd:
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.
Todd:
Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Th en again, they don't commit sins of the fl esh,
So it's pretty fresh.
Todd:
Awful lot of fat.
Mrs. Lovett:
Only where it sat.
Todd:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
Mrs. Lovett:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.
Lawyer's rather nice.
Todd:
If it's for a price.
Mrs. Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.
Todd:
Anything that's lean.
Mrs. Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Th ough, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.
Todd:
Is that squire
On the fi re?
Mrs. Lovett:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.
Todd:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.
Mrs. Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer—it's green.
Todd:
Th e history of the world, my love—
Mrs. Lovett:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors…
Todd:
—Is those below serving those up above.
Mrs. Lovett:
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of fl avors…
Todd:
How gratifying for once to know—
Both
—that those above will serve those down below!
Todd:
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's a politician—so oily
It's served with a doily—
Have one?
Todd:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.
Mrs. Lovett:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.
Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy.
Mrs. Lovett:
Th en actor—
It's compacter.
Todd:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have Judge on the menu.
Have charity toward the world, my pet—
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, yes, I know, my love—
Todd:
We'll take the customers that we can get.
Mrs. Lovett:
High-born and low, my love.
Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small.
No, we'll serve anyone—
Meaning anyone—
Mrs. Lovett:
We'll serve anyone—
Both
And to anyone
At all! |
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